Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
