I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
