You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
