And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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