You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
