drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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