For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
