I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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