Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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