I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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