Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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