take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
