He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
