He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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