i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
