My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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