I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
