Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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