oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
