I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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