kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize