he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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