How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
