we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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