I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
