All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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