Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
