You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
