ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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