Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
