New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All the doctor said was why
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize