I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
