Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
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