i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
