I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
