Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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