No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
