it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
