Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
