O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
