i don't plan on having that self control this summer
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
