So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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