just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The adults are the big ones right?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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