the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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