he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
