Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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