Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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