I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
