It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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