i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
