My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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