the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
