"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You need Xanax blowdarts
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
