I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
