but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
