A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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