I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
