I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
